Sunday, June 21, 2015

Bitter and Petty

I know I should be the better person at all times, but more especially on days like today.  But on days like today, I feel like being a bitter, petty bitch.

It's father's day.  Boog's "father" isn't in his life at all for the past year.  Boog hasn't seen him in a year.  Hasn't heard from him either.  The little contact I've had with him in the last 6 months were not him asking about Boog.

I don't know what to tell Boog when he asks where his daddy is, why he doesn't come visit or play with him.  There was no parent handbook when I left the hospital, and I'm damn sure it wouldn't have had a chapter on how to answer questions relating to an absent father.  It would have been different if he'd never been part of Boog's life, but I tried damn hard for the first few years to make sure he was.  But I just couldn't take on that responsibility anymore and that's when the visits and calls went from occasional to non-existent.

So on this day, I say thank you to my (step) dad and my father for being there for me and for Boog.  I say happy father's day to all the dad's I know who are stepping up to be the father they are supposed to be.  I say thank you to all the step parents to step up and be the daddy that someone else couldn't be.

But I can't bring myself to say happy father's day to the sorry fuck that contributed DNA to my Boog, my greatest joy, my sarcastic, stubborn, sassy little man.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Getting too big

Someone got his new big boy bed this weekend.  It’s in between being a loft and a junior loft.  It was made by my uncle for my cousin over 20 years ago.  My other uncle cut it down so it’s just tall enough for Boog to fit underneath without bonking his head on it.

Boog is super excited to have a big boy bed and have room to stretch since he was as long as his toddler bed at this point.  He likes that he has room to play up there if he wants and finds it hilarious that he can touch the ceiling.  He keeps forgetting that his has to crawl and can’t stand when he’s up there.  It’s only been two days, so I imagine he’ll remember soon enough.

He runs around and stands under it, just because he can lol.  I told him we’d turn it into a little hiding space for him, like his own little clubhouse.  I’m going to try to find either a dinosaur or Transformer curtain to hang across the front opening for him and maybe a small lamp to put on the dresser that’s going to be under there.