Ping Pong balls

I feel like I have a ping pong game going on in my head…do I stay or do I go? Is the aggravation worth the good times? Do the good times outweigh the bad? Are you really going to change in the way I need you to? Are you going to change in the way our son needs you to change? Are you ever going to change at all? When are you going to realize that you need to do things you don’t want to do, for HIS well being? You don’t matter anymore, it’s all about him…

I feel torn between the past and the future…I wonder if there really is a future with you…I wonder if that future is really where I want to be in my life…is it really what I want for my son? Do I want my son to grow up thinking that its okay to make threats and intimidate people into getting his way? Do I want my son to grow up hating people that he doesn’t even know? Do I want my son to think it’s okay to treat people this way?

But I also want my son to know his father…I want him to know the person I once knew…I want him to believe what his father tells him…I don’t want him to live his life full of doubts about what daddy is going to do…Daddy said he was coming to see me today – will he really come?

I don’t want him to grow up with an alcoholic parent – been there, done that, I want better for him…

So. Here’s my notice to you, yet again…things need to change…things will change…for better or for worse, a change is coming…whether you will stay or go, that is your choice…whether you decide to make the changes YOU need to make is up to you…but I will be making changes for my son’s future…it is up to you if you will be in his future…

Clifton Day Yay!

This weekend was a good one...I spent all day Saturday just me and Booger...We got absolutely nothing accomplished except spending time together...

Now Sunday on the other hand, that was an all day event...if you've never been to Clifton Day and you live in the NOVA area, I totally recommend it...

Food
Vendors
Food
Pony rides
Food
Kid ID station
Food
Antiques (Anteekies, Anti Qs, ya know, old shit)

And did I mention food? I did? Yeah, well, it's GOOD food...as a matter of fact, I have 2 dip mixes, a salsa mix, peach butter and some preserves purchased from this wonderful place...and that's not to mention the food that was consumed there...

I got Booger's picture taken on a pony, in vest, bandanna and cowboy hat lol! I can't wait to get it in the mail. They also had this AWESOME booth that sells benches and stools and benches that are also step stools...AND they have the kid's name carved into them, but the letters are REMOVABLE PUZZLE PIECES!!! They were so fricking cool...I'm totally going to get one for Booger for his birthday...

Booger got his first corn dog this weekend, we ended up un-corning it for him, but he still thought it was pretty good...

For more info on Clifton Day, click me or go to www.cliftonday.com.

Steps!

My little man took 3 steps at daycare yesterday...all by himself!!!!

I can't believe how big he's getting...and he waved bye to me this morning...

It won't be long before he's walking all over the place alone...I'm so screwed then...

Hopefully we can get a handle on my breathing before then...I'm starting to have issues with keeping my breath...okay, lets be honest, I've been having issues for a while...

It's bedtime ladies and gentleman...ha! I say that like someone really reads this shit...

Where did the time go?

I was watching J the other day and couldn't believe it...This crawling, laughing, bouncing, standing, flirting baby is the same lump of do nothingness that I brought home from the hospital almost a year ago...

When we came home, and for months after lol, all he did was eat, cry and potty...and he did a LOT of all 3 and very little of anything else...

And now he's all over the place...He's absolutely fearless...He loves to stand and bounce...and he's almost walking on his own...he crawls all over the place...and boy does he flirt and he loves to see himself in the mirror and in pictures...nothing beats the sound of listening to him laugh...I could listen to that little giggle for hours...Man I love that kid...

I can't wait to teach him how to tie his shoes, ride a bike and then, I'll have to teach him how to drive...that scares the shit out of me...