Saturday, September 3, 2011

The Pursuit of Happyness

Christopher Gardner: It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson on the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking how did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. No matter what. How did he know that?

Nope, this post isn't about the movie, but I thought the quote was appropriate...

Why can't people be happy with what they have? And by people I mean me...and by what they have I mean: I have J Boogie, who let's be honest, I never should have been able to have him...I got pregnant when I never thought I could...He survived and thrived when they said I should terminate...He was doing flippies when they were so worried they were checking for his heartbeat 4 times a day in the hospital...

So, back to this being happy thing...Why do I feel so bitter about the things I missed out on? Like the baby shower? Or breastfeeding due to the blood thinners? Or spending his first Christmas eve with J Boogie? Or taking him to get his first Christmas picture with Santa?

Why do I feel bitter about all the other people who get pregnant? Especially the ones that have more than one child? What makes them so special that they can have all the fucking kids they want, but I can't...And let's not even talk about the people who have kid after kid after kid that they don't even seem to care about...

But my end of summer resolution is to stop being such a bitch about it and be happy with the beautiful, sweet, smart, adorable, smart ass, entirely too cute and mouthy for his own good baby that I have...Even when we've done eleventy billion rounds of "Mommy" "What-y" "Mommy" or hearing baby gibberish and saying "Say what?!" and getting the response of "What!"

No comments:

Post a Comment