I. Hate. Hospitals...

Just saying...People in them are generally in a foul mood, maybe not directly, but they are not happy about where they are, that's for sure!

I was recently in the hospital for just over 4 days...and it sucks! Usually I can tell when I'm going to be admitted by my doctor. This time it just hit me out of left field!

On Thursday (BOOGIE'S BIRTHDAY) I started feeling ill, then started throwing up. I felt so bad, that I had to make The Boy drive part of the way home. We got home and my dad tells me he ordered pizza for Boog's birthday - I quietly go upstairs to die in my own bed. I slept for a bit, and considering I wouldn't sleep well the rest of the night, it was a blessing.

The Boy kept Boog downstairs for a while so I could get some rest, and didn't bring him up till it was time for sleep. I woke up probably every hour or so and would either throw up or feel like I was going to throw up. Everything from the past 24 hours made a re-appearance...

Friday morning I felt slightly better, but was still feeling like yuck. The Boy kept Boog occupied for the most part and we took him to his 2 year check up that afternoon. I'd had a pain in my side since I had started getting sick, so I called my doctor to see if they could see me that afternoon, but no dice.

Saturday morning, my doctor told me to go to the mini emergency room for dehydration and to see if I'd done something to my rib(s). I still hadn't been able to keep anything down, other than a small amount of ginger ale. The ER told me I had a nasty kidney infection and they started me on IV antibiotics, then told me that I was dehydrated and my heart rate was WAY off. So they wanted to move me to the cardio unit at Fairfax Hospital (aka my home away from home).

So, 4 days later, I finally came home on Wednesday...Got sent home with 2 of my meds increased, added an oral antibiotic and some pain meds for the pain I still had in my side...Oh! And I had to have an oxygen tank for travel and an oxygen machine in the house, to use 24/7!

We had to cancel Boog's birthday party that was supposed to be on Sunday since I was in the hospital =(

I have follow up appointments this week and next, and hope to have the oxygen out of the house after that...Cross your fingers for me...

Halloween Candy

So the boy left Boog's Halloween candy from his day care party in my car...on my dashboard...in the sun...

I tossed it in my bag and took it inside last night, with full intentions of leaving it inside...guess who never took it out of her bag last night and just discovered it again this morning?

Does it make me the evil mommy to eat a piece...or two? And I'm not talking about the totally yummy rice crispy treat either, just your run of the mill Snicker's snack size...the yummy orange rice crispy pumpkin with the tootsie roll stem and chocolate eyes...drool...

Looks a little like this, without the green:

Dear Abby...

So I have the Dear Abby column emailed to me daily - yeah, giant dork, thanks...anyway, I received this one day after I had been speaking to my bio father about my mom and this could almost have been written by the future me...

While I have not made the decision to cut my mother out of my life at this time, she has a major drinking problem...I had planned on going to her house last night so that she could see Boog in his costume but found out she was not "good" and decided not to go. Someone asked me why I would go over there...It's so that I can tell Boog when he asks questions, that yes, I tried to keep her in his life, and I will know that I'm not lying to my child...

My mother hasn't seen my son since July/August time frame and likely will not see him until Christmas...in some ways it makes me sad that he'll never know the person she could be, but I also like knowing that he won't see this person that she is...


DEAR ABBY: I have no contact with my mother for many reasons. It was difficult to sever the relationship, but after my son was born -- for his safety and well-being -- I felt I had no choice.

My mother has seen my son once, when he was 6 months old. She had just been released from jail and arrived at my home stoned and out of it. I made sure she found a safe way home and haven't spoken to her since.

My son will be 3 soon. Yesterday we were talking about families and he asked, "You don't have a mommy?" I replied, "Yes, I do. Her name is Cindy." Thankfully, he left it at that. But it started me thinking about what I should say when he asks me questions about his grandmother. I had planned on talking to him when he was older because addictions can run in families, and I want him to be aware of it when making choices in his teen and later years. What do you tell a 3-year-old who wonders who his grandma is? -- OUT OF ANSWERS IN WISCONSIN

DEAR OUT OF ANSWERS: You have already started the dialogue. When your son wants to know why Grandma Cindy doesn't visit, that will be the time you tell him she can't be around because she's sick and isn't able to be. As your son grows older, continue to answer his questions honestly and in an age-appropriate way.

Halloween

It's almost Halloween! We got Boogie's costume kinda late, but it was half off and too damn cute! Still not sure what we're doing for trick or treating, might be colder than we want...If so, Tyson's Corner here we come lol...and Boog's birthday is right around the corner now...I can't believe it's been almost 2 years...time flies...

Rant: Child Support

So here's my rant for the day...Mother fucking men who have children and are no longer with the mother of the child...and then wanna say the bitch is asking for money to hurt them/be a bitch/whatever excuse they give...

Fool, it takes money to provide for YOUR child...it takes MONEY to pay for food, diapers, wipes, clothes, daycare, etc...By you not providing for your child, you are hurting your child...unless you have a child with some rich woman...

And telling someone that they have an appetite for money because they ask for child support is some fucking bullshit...I paid for everything for my son with no help from his father for over a year...I filed for child support, and one of his friend's offered him some work and said maybe that money would reduce my "appetite for money" - Are you fucking kidding me with that shit?

Then today I see someone on facebook posting that their baby's mom is asking for money just to hurt him...Honestly, she could be already getting money from him, I don't know the situation, but to see that really just fucking bothered me...

Pizza/Spaghetti Rice

So recently I've been trying to do more with the crockpot...The easier the better as far as I'm concerned...so to have something that will cook all day and be ready for me to eat when I get home is AUTUMN* in my book...

So far I've done broccoli cheese chicken, beanies and weenies and something I can't decide what to call it lol...it's Pizza Rice or Spaghetti Rice...

I took 1 can of spaghetti sauce, 2 cans of petite diced tomatoes with garlic and tossed in 4 chicken breasts...let it cook on low all day...The Boy came home before me and stirred it for me and when he did, the chicken fell apart - not what I wanted to happen, but it worked out in the end...We cooked some rice and served the chicken/sauce mixture over the rice and mixed it together...and it was awesome...the only improvements I would make would be to throw in some cheese near the end...I'm thinking some of the grated parmesan cheese would make it more like spaghetti...but some mozzarella would add more of a pizza flavor...

And J Boogie even liked it once we made him take that first bite...all I heard after that was "Bite Mommy!"


*AUTUMN = AWESOME in J Boogie speak

The Pursuit of Happyness

Christopher Gardner: It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson on the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking how did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. No matter what. How did he know that?

Nope, this post isn't about the movie, but I thought the quote was appropriate...

Why can't people be happy with what they have? And by people I mean me...and by what they have I mean: I have J Boogie, who let's be honest, I never should have been able to have him...I got pregnant when I never thought I could...He survived and thrived when they said I should terminate...He was doing flippies when they were so worried they were checking for his heartbeat 4 times a day in the hospital...

So, back to this being happy thing...Why do I feel so bitter about the things I missed out on? Like the baby shower? Or breastfeeding due to the blood thinners? Or spending his first Christmas eve with J Boogie? Or taking him to get his first Christmas picture with Santa?

Why do I feel bitter about all the other people who get pregnant? Especially the ones that have more than one child? What makes them so special that they can have all the fucking kids they want, but I can't...And let's not even talk about the people who have kid after kid after kid that they don't even seem to care about...

But my end of summer resolution is to stop being such a bitch about it and be happy with the beautiful, sweet, smart, adorable, smart ass, entirely too cute and mouthy for his own good baby that I have...Even when we've done eleventy billion rounds of "Mommy" "What-y" "Mommy" or hearing baby gibberish and saying "Say what?!" and getting the response of "What!"